The Internet Is Not a Real Measuring Stick

A carefully framed moment can be beautiful, true, and still not tell the whole story.

Over the past couple of days, I've seen a few posts circulating through the social media witchcraft community. The creators were discussing how witches who don't focus on their appearance - or who are overweight, older, disabled, or otherwise don't fit a certain image - lack the discipline necessary to be effective practitioners. That bothered me. Not because I was offended - I've been practicing longer than some of these creators have been alive. I know what I'm doing, and I'm confident in my practice. What bothered me was the message.

Social media has a habit of presenting a standard that everyone else is expected to aspire to. Wear your hair a certain way. Apply your makeup just so. Get your lashes and nails done. Wear the latest clothes. Weigh as little as possible. Live in the gym. This wasn't the first time I'd seen that message online. It was simply the first time I'd seen it stated so plainly within a spiritual community.

That's unfortunate, because many people who are new to the path encounter the aesthetic before they encounter the substance. The images are beautiful. The photography is stunning. The altars are immaculate. The practitioners themselves often appear perfectly styled, perfectly dressed, and perfectly put together. But spiritual ability has never depended on perfect presentation. Neither a flawless altar nor a flawless body is a prerequisite for meaningful practice.

Aesthetics and ability are not the same thing. The reality is that human beings come in all kinds of bodies. Aging bodies, larger bodies, and bodies with disabilities. Bodies navigating illness, grief, stress, puberty, menopause, caregiving responsibilities, and countless other challenges. And worthiness is not earned through aesthetics.

What really caught my attention is that these posts weren't actually about weight. They were about power. When someone says, "If you can't control your weight, how can you control your magic?", they're making several assumptions all at once. They're assuming weight is always controllable. They're assuming spiritual effectiveness comes from domination and control. They're assuming physical appearance reflects spiritual development. And they're assuming people in larger bodies are somehow less disciplined, less capable, or less evolved. Those assumptions simply don't hold up.

If they did, we'd have to conclude that every chronically ill mystic, disabled healer, elderly medicine woman, stressed-out single mother, menopausal crone, and fat witch throughout history possessed weak magic. History tells a very different story. Now, if someone wants to talk about discipline, consistency, devotion to practice, or showing up for yourself, those are worthwhile conversations. But body size is not a reliable measure of any of those things.

I'm a fifty-something witch with a body that has weathered injuries, grief, stress, hormones, military-spouse life, and a whole lot of years. I can assure you that my connection to Spirit did not disappear because my jeans became harder to zip. When I was younger, I thought body size was a much simpler equation than it actually is. Then I watched people navigate thyroid disorders, disabilities, medications, chronic illness, hormone changes, caregiving stress, and circumstances that don't fit neatly into a motivational quote. Age has a way of humbling us. Most of us eventually learn that the human body is far more complicated than discipline alone.

I've been walking this path for more than thirty years. During those decades, I've been thinner, heavier, healthier, injured, stressed, grieving, joyful, exhausted, and everything in between. My clothing size changed far more often than my connection to Spirit did. And that's where social media can become misleading. The internet is incredibly good at creating the illusion that someone else's life is the standard by which we should measure our own. It's easy to compare yourself to people with perfect lighting, perfect filters, perfect confidence, and seemingly perfect lives - and decide you're somehow falling short. But the internet is not a real measuring stick. It is not a reliable measure of your worth, your ability, your dedication, your wisdom, your spirituality, or your potential.

Hedgie remains unconvinced that this is useful data.

At the end of the day, the person living your life, walking in your body, and practicing your craft is you. You are the expert on the subject of being you. And all those shiny images, polished feeds, and carefully curated personas scrolling past your screen were never meant to tell you who you're supposed to be.

What it all boils down to is this; the one living your life, walking in your body, and working your craft is you. And you are the expert in the subject matter of "You". And the pretty shiny things on the internet are poor standards by which to measure who you're meant to be.